Demons
by mariko05
Summary: This is about Lindsay's struggle with the death of her four friends and why at first she doesn't totally trust Danny's intentions when it comes to dating her.
1. Inner Demons

Demons

"Everybody has inner demons to fight, Danny," I whisper.

He looks as if he understands, and I know he wants to, but I don't think he does. How could he know what its like to watch four of your closest friends murdered; shot once in the head as they pleaded for their lives. That is something that I try to forget everyday. I couldn't see their faces, but I could _hear_ their tears; it was so evident in their voices that my heart broke. I could hear the guy shout, "Turn around and lie on your backs. Now!"

"Please don't hurt us," they cried. "Please…"

"Shut up!" I remember him shouting.

I opened the door just a fraction of an inch. The guy was waving his gun manically, pacing back and forth, while my friends lay there quietly, probably praying to god that this guy would change his mind, and that everything had been a bad dream. Our story is a nightmare that never goes away.

My dreams for the past ten years have been of me peeking out from inside the bathroom and watching the…BOOM…BOOM…BOOM…BOOM…as each of my friends grew limp and blood poured from underneath their bodies. I didn't think he would forget the washroom, so I stood on the toilet praying that he wouldn't open any of them and find me. Although sometimes I wish he had. For at least two years after they were murdered I lived in a trance.

I was not always the way I am now. For years after the death of my friends I was moody and withdrawn, quiet and sinister, wore black clothes and dyed my pale blonde hair black, went to therapy three times a week and was home-schooled. I didn't even have my first boyfriend until I was twenty-one years old. He was a sweet, young man who tried to understand my situation, but much like Danny now, he simply couldn't and we parted ways. Although some people thought that he was the one to break me from the gothic spell I was under, I can remember that day vividly now.

I sat beside the tall, imposing water fountain outside of the Bozeman courthouse. I watched _the accused_ leave the courthouse from outside not being able to return inside after my testimony. I was watching him quite intently that I almost didn't catch the confident wink that he gave me. _Did he get off scot-free? Was my testimony not good enough? Was he planning on killing my family when we are sleeping?_ I don't know what he was thinking, but I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for the fact that I couldn't eat for days that I would have thrown up in the water fountain.

I wrapped my arms around my chest as the cameras turn to me as I watched him leave. I couldn't help it then, but I was almost always alone. I didn't let anyone in; not my family and certainly not my newfound boyfriend. I remember watching in horror as he was loaded into the back of a police car thinking that they were going to apologize to him for wasting his time and then drive him back home. I didn't realize that what they were actually doing was driving him to his high security jail cell where he would spend the rest of his days.

I have to admit that at twenty-seven years old, Danny is my closest friend at work. I recognize that he wants to be more than just friends, but the past has taught me to be cautious about whom to trust. Sometimes, just sometimes, people are only willing to be your friend because they recognize you as the girl whose four friends were murdered in an act of brutal cruelty.


	2. Come What May

**Come What May**

As I sit staring out the window of my tenth floor apartment in New York, I daydream about that one night with Danny. Nothing seems to have come of it afterwards, but what it was, it was amazing. I smile fondly when he says I wouldn't make that shot, and I did. I also love that I made the first move. Having men making the first move is _overrated_. But my daydream is interrupted by a knock at the door.

I open the door only to reveal a distressed Danny. I take him into my arms and lead him into my living room. "What's…what's wrong Danny?" Danny attempts to answer but I am only met with gurgling and then he coughs up blood.

"Oh my god, Danny. What the _hell_ happened to you?"

I lay him half upright, resting against my chest as I call the closest emergency room. "Yes, I need an ambulance now! This is an officer who is coughing up blood! No, I don't think so. No, I don't know. He can't talk right now… Yes, okay. So, how long is it going to take? Okay, okay, thank you," I say.

I stroke Danny's hair with my right hand, and whisper in his hair. "You are going to be okay. The paramedics are on their way to take you to the hospital. Maybe I should call your parents."

"No!" he spits, practically choking on his own blood.

"Okay, okay, calm down," I say soothingly. "I won't."

_But I lie._ It's pretty easy to lie now when I had to do it so much when I was younger. I used to get harassing phone calls from fans of Douglas Winner, my friends killer. _Winner_; what an ironic name, especially since he _lost_ his case.

Less than twenty minutes later Danny has passed out on my couch and the paramedics finally arrive. After checking his vitals they carry him to their ambulance and set the sirens blaring. I am suddenly back at square one. I am staring out the window watching the ambulance speed away at breakneck speed, and I longingly wonder what happened to him. I call Mac to get my mind off the matter.

"Taylor."

"Hi, it's Lindsay."

"What's up? Aren't you off today?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Have you seen Danny recently? He was supposed to be here two hours ago," Taylor tells me.

"_Well_, that's what I'm calling about. Something has happened to him…" I continue the story as I get up and find my coat.

"Okay, I'm going to the hospital," he tells me.

"Yeah, I'm going too. He told me _not_ to call his parents. Should I listen to him?"

On the other side of the phone, Mac ponders the question for a minute.

"Invite his mother."

"And not his father?"

"Their relationship has been strained for years."

"Okay. See you soon."

Then we hang up.


	3. When You Need Vodka as Life Support

**When You Need Vodka as Life Support**

I'll just make this clear now. I rarely listen to people when they bitch and complain about their relationship with their parents. Especially since my relationship with my parents is so awesome. Their unconditional love, especially in the time when I couldn't deal with life was amazing. They brought me to therapists (even when I said I didn't need to see one), they stuck food down my throat so I wouldn't starve (even when I thought I would vomit it back up a second later), and they stayed by my bed for days (even when I told them I wanted to be alone). That is why I was skeptical when Mac told me that Danny and his father didn't get along. I mean, what child doesn't get along with his or her father?

At the hospital waiting for his parents I look at Danny through the window of his room. The harsh florescent lighting makes him look weaker than he probably is. At the moment he is curled into a ball and moaning in pain. Doctors have hooked him up to a morphine drip, although they have no idea what has happened to him. I feel so helpless. Not only were my teenage best friends brutally attacked, but now Danny, possibly _my something more_ has been too. And now, all I can do is wait.

"Lindsay?" Mac takes my shoulder, "How's he doing?"

A single tear falls down my cheek and I whisper, "Whoever did this to him hurt him pretty badly."

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"Daniel Messer's room please," asks a middle-aged woman wearing faux fur. The coat is much too big for her and it looks like she is swallowed by it. She manages to lift the hem up and search for her son's room. She had called Danny's father but his reply is that if he got into trouble it was his own _damn_ fault. He watched too many of his sons end up in juvie or beaten to death to bear to watch another son do the same. He was tired of the same old routine, even if Danny was his favourite, and not that he would ever admit it.

Danny's mother approaches his room and sees a young woman and Danny's boss in an embrace. She thought at first that it wasn't innocent until she saw the worry etched on both their faces. Danny means a lot to them and she is glad that he has friends to watch out for him. She guesses that the woman is Lindsay, _his Montana_, the girl that he talks so much about, and the man is his boss Mac Taylor, whom she met briefly earlier a couple years before.

"I just wish I could do something. Danny looks so helpless, and I hate that. He shouldn't be like this," Danny's mother overhears Lindsay say to her boss.

"I know, I know," Mac says as he rubs her shoulders. "Maybe it's because you're really tense."

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His mother clears her throat and I look behind me to wear she's standing. "Are you Lindsay?" she asks, as if she is expecting someone else.

"Yes. You must be his mother, Elaine."

"Is your husband coming as well?"

Mac looks at me as if I'm crazy for asking and I'll soon find out why

"Well…" she shrugs. "He is a little busy with work and everything."

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"Messer!" he bellows into the halls. "Where the hell is the room for Danny Messer!"


	4. When it's Time for the Truth

**When it's Time for the Truth**

Danny's mother shrugs as her husband's deep bellows are heard throughout the entire floor.

"I'm sorry. Danny is his favourite son."

_Well, he sure doesn't show it very well, now does he?_

"Yoo hoo sweetie, over here!"

Once Danny's father trudges over, he snaps at his wife. "Where were you the first five times I called out, woman?"

Oh my god, did he just call her _woman_?

Elaine ignores him as she brushes the dirt off his clothes so he looks presentable. "I'm sorry dear, I was talking to Danny's nice boss, Mr. Mac and Lindsay."

Mac turns around to face Danny's father, whose name turns out to be Louie Sr. It looks like Mac and Louie has met before, and there seems to be a lot of animosity between them. "Taylor," Louie nods his head at the detective. "Mr. Messer," Mac extends his hand in an attempt at civility. Louie doesn't take the hint, and ignores Mac's gesture.

"Who're you?" Louie turns his attention to me.

"This is Lindsay," Elaine explains to her husband. "Remember? The girl that Danny has been talking about for a while."

I blush at this response. I can't believe that he talks about me with his parents. What a strange feeling to have someone care about you in that way.

_Flashback_

"Hey Linds, can you believe we are graduating? In a few short weeks we are going to be out in the workforce cutting up bodies instead of dead, smelly rats!"

"Yeah," I laugh. "We'll be cutting up dead, smelly humans!"

I met Rebecca-Lynn in my first year of criminology 101 and we became instant friends. I even told her about Cassidy, Jessica, Laura, and Grace Ryan. She was really sympathetic and she understands moments when I sink into deep depressions once a year. I felt really bad when I left her behind. I heard that she married a firefighter and has three lovely children (none of whom I've actually met). To be honest, we haven't spoken in over three years. After I left Montana right after college I worked in crime labs in Texas, Chicago, and Detroit. I guess we simply lost touch, and Danny was there to save me.

"Detective Taylor?" a young male doctor addresses my boss.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Messer's injuries are substantial, and we are prepping him for surgery."

Mac points at Mr. and Mrs. Messer, "Those are his parents."

The doctor nods in gratitude and walks over to them. I can hear his mother wailing as the doctor is telling them his prognosis. I hate that this is happening. Danny is a good man; he doesn't deserve whatever happened to him. _I hope he doesn't die_.

**Ten hours later**…

I am sleeping on Mac's shoulder in the ICU when a doctor wakes us up to give us the news.

I can't believe that I've been drooling in my sleep and Mac didn't wake me up to tell me. Anyways, my fingers are crossed that Danny will be okay.


End file.
